


Liar, Liar

by avalescence_hurlocked, CheesePie30



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, It gets better I swear, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3924976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avalescence_hurlocked/pseuds/avalescence_hurlocked, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheesePie30/pseuds/CheesePie30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I love you.”</p><p>Yamaguchi’s eyes opened at the feel of Kei’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up, eyes big, cheeks a slight red, before removing the headphones. “Tsukki, did you say something?” he asked, his head cocked to the side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liar, Liar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LazuliTears](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazuliTears/gifts).



> This story was based off a comic Ava and I saw by ask-tsukki-and-yama on tumblr  
> Ava: "sorry for the angst"  
> Ava: "not really"  
> I: someone stop her  
>   
> edit: hi it's ava! if you are looking for a song that fits this fic, [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oflL5ESIqhk) is what i recommend! have it playing in the background while reading, and look up the lyrics if you'd like. it's perfect, i promise. it may not be what you're into but just trust me, it's fits.  
>   
> 2nd edit: it has come to my attention that the song has stopped working bc copyright, probably, so i linked another song and i don't remember if it is the same song but i _think_ it is, and anyway even if it isn't, the song fits  
>  happy reading!  
> [my tumblr](http://oiizumi.tumblr.com)

There were only ever two people in Kei’s room at a time. Most of the time it was he and Yamaguchi. Today was no exception. “Tsukki, look!” Yamaguchi squeaked. He was pointing to something on his phone. “Fall Out Boy released a new single!” Kei nodded. “Yeah, yesterday. I actually, um--I have it,” he said quietly, hearing Yamaguchi gasp in excitement. “Ah, really?” he asked, to which Tsukki showed him his phone with the new song on it. “I bought it on iTunes.  Akiteru owed me money, so I just used that for buying it,” he explained. He took off his headphones and handed them to Yamaguchi. “Wanna listen?” “Can I?”

Yamaguchi accepted the headphones, the tips of his fingers ‘accidentally’ brushing against Kei’s, and he couldn’t help but smile slightly at the warm feeling that spread through him. “Thanks, Tsukki!”

Kei felt his heart flutter at the nickname, one that even Akiteru didn’t use. Yamaguchi put on the headphones, listening to the music flowing through them. Kei tried to get back to whatever he was doing, but it was hard to. The most beautiful person in the entire world was right in front of him, looking so at peace, face relaxed. His eyes were closed, his mouth curved into a slight smile. Kei bit his lip. Should he say it? What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he didn’t want to be friends anymore?

He felt blood creep into his cheeks as Yamaguchi started humming along unconsciously to the chorus. There wasn’t a better time to tell Yamaguchi. It was just the two of them, alone, in his room...

_… It’s just three words…_

_… Say it already, Kei…_

He raised a hand slowly, the words bubbling in his throat. It really was the perfect time, he felt it in his being. He placed his hand gently on Yamaguchi’s shoulder.

_“I love you.”_

Yamaguchi’s eyes opened at the feel of Kei’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up, eyes big, cheeks a slight red, before removing the headphones. “Tsukki, did you say something?” he asked, his head cocked to the side.

Kei felt his heart shatter.

“Ah, it’s--it’s nothing, I just asked what you wanted for snacks,” he lied, hoping his cheeks didn’t look as red as they felt. He turned away, hearing Yamaguchi ponder over what he wanted to eat. _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ he berated himself. _He was wearing headphones! Of course he wouldn’t be able to hear me._ He sighed before grabbing his phone and using it again, like he was before he royally messed up.

“Don’t you still have that cake from last week?” Yamaguchi said, tapping his fingers on his side. “We could have some of that, right?” Kei nodded once, then moved to stand by the door. “Yeah, I’ll grab us some, so just stay here, alright?” Yamaguchi nodded, raising the headphones up to his head. “I’ll just keep listening to the song, is that okay?” Kei swallowed down a fire in his gut, one that wanted to reach out and throw away the headphones, and tell Yamaguchi, straight to his face, that he loved him. But he swallowed down that urge and nodded once more. “Sure, go ahead,” he said, before opening the door and walking out, closing the door behind him.

Outside his door, he sank down to the floor. _Stupid. You have no sense of anything. Of course he wouldn’t have heard you he had your headphones on! Pathetic. Even if he didn’t have them on, what makes you think he would’ve said “I love you” back? Wishful thinking. God, you’re pathetic. Just take what you can get. Can’t you be happy with that?_ Silently, he felt tears pool at the bottom of his eyes. He tried blinking them away, but he couldn’t stop them. Soon, hot, bitter tears fell from his eyes. He didn’t bother wiping them away, not when the pain he felt in his heart made the tears seem so insignificant. He got up, finally, and walked to the kitchen to cut some cake for the two of them. His posture didn’t differ from his usual demeanor, except for the shine in his eyes and the tear marks on his cheeks. Any normal bystander wouldn’t have noticed at all. He wiped away the tear marks, putting on a cool expression before bringing the strawberry shortcake slices back up to his room.

“Hey, I’m back,” he said, masterfully balancing both plates on his left arm while opening the door with his right. “That looks so good, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi squeaked out, slinging the headphones around his neck and reaching over for a plate. Kei handed him one, along with a fork. “Enjoy,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound like he’d been crying.

Yamaguchi cut off a piece from his cake and ate it, humming as he did. “This is so good, Tsukki,” he said, before eating another piece. Kei nodded before scrolling through his phone again, his plate beside him on the bed. “It sure is,” he said absentmindedly, trying to get his mind off his failed confession.

“Tsukki, are you okay? You’re not… yourself,” Yamaguchi asked after a few minutes, concern written on his face. Kei gulped. “I--Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” he replied shortly, eating a bit of the cake. He hoped he didn’t sound like he was lying. Yamaguchi huffed. “Tsukki, you know I don’t like it when you don’t tell me these things. I don’t like seeing you sad, okay? C’mon, tell me what’s wrong,” he said, scooting closer to Kei. “It’s just us here and I won’t bite.” He smiled up at Kei, that wonderful smile, and Kei knew he was dead.

Kei dropped his head, sighing shakily. He drummed his fingers on his phone’s case. “It’s... Personal. Embarrassing,” he said, curt, with a tone he usually reserved for strangers. It was guarded, and it didn’t leave much for any more conversation. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yamaguchi’s smile disappear and turn into a frown. _No, don’t stop smiling. Not because of me. Keep smiling. You don’t deserve to stop smiling because of me._ “Tsukki... Come on, you know you can tell me anything, right? I won’t like you any less because of it.” He placed a hand on Kei’s arm comfortingly, but it only served to wreck Kei’s shattered heart even more. “Would you really?” Kei answered, coldly this time, half-hoping Yamaguchi would leave already, half-hoping he would stay forever. “Wh-What’s that supposed to mean... Tsukki?” Yamaguchi was gripping Kei’s arm, tighter than usual. Kei blinked back a few tears welling up in his eyes. “I just... I think... I need some time alone.” Slowly, Yamaguchi’s hand slid from his arm, back to his lap. “Oh... Should I... Go?” Kei turned his head away from Yamaguchi, whose face probably held something akin to a kicked puppy. “Yeah,” he said, defeated. _For your own good._ He felt the warmth beside him move away. “I’ll... I’ll go then.” Kei raised his head to see Yamaguchi get his bag and move to the door. “Sorry, Tsukki,” he said in a low voice, slipping through the door. “No, Yamaguchi, it’s not--” The door shut before he could finish. “... Your fault.” Suddenly, he felt the room’s temperature drop a few degrees. It felt so much colder without Yamaguchi by his side. He watched as Yamaguchi left his house, walking in the direction of his own, dragging his feet. He felt colder than ever. He hadn’t meant for Yamaguchi to leave, it was the exact opposite of what he initially wanted to happen. He set aside his plate, right beside where Yamaguchi left his, where a lone strawberry sat. He felt his spirits sink down as he drew his knees up to his chest.

He cried himself to sleep for the first time in ten years.

* * *

He couldn’t bear to look Yamaguchi in the eye the next day.  
  
Yamaguchi had tried to talk to him, sure. But it wasn’t his usual chirpy self. It was his guarded, sad self, the one Kei frequently saw as a kid. It gradually disappeared with age, but within one day Kei had made it appear again. He felt so, so, so bad that it was because of him. He didn’t want to see Yamaguchi like that, it hurt so much.   
  
They barely even spoke that day. It was the first lunch that he ever ate alone without Yamaguchi, who didn’t even bother leaving his seat to sit beside him. Kei felt a pang of guilt and sadness in his chest, staring at Yamaguchi’s back, willing him to at least look at him, walk up to him, talk to him. He felt so alone, so alone, the first time he felt that lonely in years. He always had Yamaguchi at his side, chattering, making him feel wanted. Needed. That just wasn’t the case that day. If anything, he felt unwanted, like a piece of trash or a broken toy.   
  
He didn’t want to see Yamaguchi sad. It hurt him: a ray of sunshine, source of light and all good things sad and slumped over, the light gone from his eyes. He didn’t like it one bit. He wanted him to smile, to laugh, to look at him with those eyes of light and happiness.   
  
But he couldn’t. He didn’t. Kei hurt him deeply and he desperately wanted to right it, right his wrongs, fix what he destroyed.   
  
Yamaguchi just wouldn’t let him.   
  
That’s what broke Kei’s heart.

Practice was even worse than the whole day. Kei couldn’t concentrate, not when Yamaguchi was right there, laughing, smiling… being himself… It broke Kei. He wouldn’t even look at _him_ , but there he was, laughing along to something Nishinoya-san was saying. Kei couldn’t even bring himself to glare at him, because it wasn’t his fault. It was his own, and he couldn’t even fix it. He was so focused in his own head, he didn’t notice when a ball was shot above his head, not even bothering to block it. “Hey! Tsukishima! You didn’t even bother to block that spike! What’s wrong with you?!” On the other side of the net, Hinata was yelling, and Kageyama was glaring at him like he was lower than the dust on the bottom of his shoes. They’re probably right _._ Kei thought as he muttered an apology before making his way to Daichi. “Did he just apologize?” He heard Hinata say to Kageyama.

“Sawamura-san,” Kei said, not used to calling Daichi by his first name. “Tsukishima. What’s going on? You didn’t even block that last spike,” he said, a concerned look on his face. “I just don’t feel very good. Do you think I could… Go home early today?” He watched, hopeful, as Daichi shot a look at Suga, who walked over, bright as ever. “Well, Tsukishima-san, you don’t seem to be too sick, so maybe you could just sit down on a bench.” Kei nodded. As much as he wanted to bolt out the gym doors, he couldn’t so he sat down on the end of a bench, far from the others. He saw Suga approach. “Tsukishima-san.” The smile he sent to Kei was soft, kind, almost knowing. He had a bottle of water in his hand. “Maybe you’re feeling dehydrated?” Kei accepted the bottle but shook his head. “It’s not dehydration, that’s for sure, Suga-san.” Suga sat beside him, still smiling. Now Kei knew it was a knowing smile. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong? You’ll have to tell someone eventually.” Kei paused. _Suga-san is trustworthy, and extremely wise. If I told him… He would probably have some kind of advice to give._ He nodded. “Although, I would like a  more private setting, Suga-san.” Suga nodded and stood up. “Follow, me Tsukishima-san.” He said cheerfully, motioning to Daichi that they were going to step out for a bit. Kei followed Suga, who led the both of them behind the gym, where there were few windows for anyone to peek out through, not that they would, though.

“So, what seems to be the problem, Tsukishima-san?” Suga asked. Kei looked away. “I--I did something.” “What did you do?” he asked, prompting him some more. Kei huffed. “I messed up and now my only friend probably hates me,” he said rather agitatedly before calming himself down. Suga looked at him. “Apologize,” he said. “Say sorry. I’d hate to see Yamaguchi in pain, especially you. I know you’re strong, Tsukishima-san. I know you care a lot about Yamaguchi. Say sorry. You’ve been friends for really long, right?” he said, to which Kei nodded. “Yeah…” “He knows you better than anyone else probably, am I right?” Kei nodded again. “Yeah,” he muttered. Suga shot him a small smile. “He’d understand.” He patted him on the back before clapping his hands together. “Do you feel better?” he asked. Kei sighed. “A little bit, I guess. But what if he doesn’t accept my apology?” he rambled, worried, before Suga grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him down to his eye level. Kei blinked. “Sugawara-san--?” “Listen, Tsukishima-san. Yamaguchi cares about you a lot. I see it in his everyday actions. You guys have a deeper bond that you might think. Now, Yamaguchi isn’t that mean. He’ll forgive you, okay? Now go say you’re sorry,” he deadpanned, patting him on the cheek before leaving to go back to the gym.

Kei blinked. _Suga-san’s probably right… Yamaguchi always did forgive me. It was one of the reasons I ended up falling for him in the first place…_

He took a deep breath before walking back to the gym to face his fate.

The team was about to have a practice match and he and Yamaguchi were on the same side, along with Suga, Ennoshita, Nishinoya and Tanaka, going against Kageyama, Hinata, Daichi, Asahi, Hinoshita and Narita, and immediately after the practice match they were going to clean up, so that would only leave Kei about a few seconds to get Yamaguchi’s attention to ask him to talk after practice ended.

During the practice match, it was Yamaguchi’s turn to serve and he was prepared to hit his jump float serve. He looked nervous to do it, and Kei whispered under his breath, “Nice serve.” He was watching Yamaguchi, whose eyes widened minimally, glancing over at Kei for a fraction of a second before throwing the volleyball up, jumping and hitting the ball. Kei, out of the corner of his eye, saw Yamaguchi smile as the ball flew over the net. It was received by Daichi, and Kei was forced to throw himself into observing everything going on in the game. He could talk to Yamaguchi while cleaning up.

After the practice match, with the other team winning the last two sets, Kei was tasked with taking down the net. He was taking it down when he overheard Suga say, “Why don’t you help Tsukishima-san take down the net?”

And suddenly Yamaguchi was taking down the other side of the net. The two of them worked quietly, the tension between them thick enough to make Kei feel uncomfortable. _Say it, Kei. Just ask him to walk home with you later._ He opened his mouth to say “Yamaguchi, let’s walk home together”, but Yamaguchi turned to face him, guarded. “Tsukishima.” He raised a hand to stop Kei from saying anything. “Just let me talk right now.” Kei shut his mouth.

“Yesterday, what happened in your room… I’m sorry. I pushed you too hard and tried forcing you to say something you clearly weren’t ready to say. I should’ve trusted you, that you would tell me what was going on in your own time, but I was being selfish and I completely forgot about your feelings. I understand if you don’t want to talk, or if you’d just want to badmouth me, and yell, or even hit me, because yesterday was me being a complete asshole of a friend and I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you right now, and you must hate me by now anyway, since you’ve avoided me all day. So what I’m saying here, Tsukki-kishima. Is that I’m sorry, and I hope you forgive me. Even if it might not be today.”

Kei was speechless. _Damnit… I was supposed to be the one asking for his forgiveness, not the other way around! He’s got it all wrong, he shouldn’t even be apologizing, he should be screaming at me, telling me to get away from him, anything close to those lines. Damnit, Yamaguchi…_ Yamaguchi was carrying the net, when he almost lost his balance. Kei moved quickly to scoop up the net from behind Yamaguchi, placing a hand on Yamaguchi’s back to steady him and using the other to help carry the net.

“Yamaguchi,” he murmured, low enough for the other to hear. “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing,” he said as the two of them put the net into the storage closet. He dusted off his hands. “I should be the one who’s apologizing to you. I should’ve just trusted it with you. You’ve never let me down before, never lied, or kept anything from me. Why shouldn’t I do the same? But… I’ll just tell you later. When we walk home. If you still want to walk home that is.” Kei swallowed nervously before Yamaguchi’s face broke from the sad, guarded face he wore all day to his bright smile, his natural smile that always made Kei’s day. Only, now it just seemed to mock him. _I can never do that to him again. I almost lost him forever. I was selfish. I have to make sure that never happens again._

“Of course, Tsukki! We always do, don’t we?” Yamaguchi said cheerfully before going out of the storage room to help out a bit more. Kei sighed as Suga entered the storage room, pushing a cart of volleyballs. “Tsukishima-san. Yamaguchi-san seems happier. You talked?” he said, happy that his teammates were back to their old selves. “Well. Sort of. I mean, he forgave me, but he misread the entire situation.” Suga tilted his head to the side and placed one hand on his hip. “Really? How so?” Kei took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him that I… To tell him what I really feel about him.” His hands balled into fists. _The first time I’m actually confessing my feelings, and it’s not even to the person I like. What a joke._

“Tsukishima-san,” Suga said, understanding in his eyes. “I understand what you’re going through. You’re scared that you might ruin your friendship with him, aren’t you?” Suga placed a hand on Kei’s shoulder. “I’m not telling you to tell him now… But… If you ever need anyone to talk to, you know you have your senpais, especially me. I… I understand what you’re going through. Except, mine turned out to be for the better. I hope yours does as well.” Suga stepped back before turning to jog outside the storage room. Kei mulled over his words before following him out.

“Hey, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi greeted him, bag on his back. He handed Kei his bag. “Here, I packed it for you,” he said softly, a smile on his face. _This is going to make this harder,_ Kei thought. “Thanks,” he said, slinging it on his shoulder. They continued outside, leaving the third-years to lock up. “Have a safe trip home, Tsukishima-san! Yamaguchi-san!” Suga called out, waving goodbye. He directed a wink to Kei, secretly wishing him luck. Kei felt his stomach churn. He nodded at him before turning back to the road in front of him, walking down the path with Yamaguchi.

“So, Tsukki, what were you going to tell me?” Yamaguchi asked, falling into step easily with Kei. Kei swallowed and looked away, wondering how to phrase it. _I said I love you yesterday. I like you, Yamaguchi. I love you?_ Kei was pulling at his hairs internally. Why was it so hard like this? It wasn’t like it was this hard yesterday.

“I--uh, do you promise you won’t hate me?” he asked cautiously, glancing at his friend. Yamaguchi was staring straight ahead, clearly lost in thought. He blinked and turned to face Kei before chuckling nervously. “I--I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening,” he admitted. “What was that?”

Kei sighed a little. “N-Nevermind.”

Silence remained between them for the next five minutes. It was painstakingly annoying.

Suddenly Yamaguchi let out a sigh. It was loud and drawn-out. He stopped walking, and Kei, who was a few steps ahead, turned to face him. “I… I’m sorry.” He said, looking down at the ground. Kei blinked. “For what?” he asked, a bit confused. “You already apologized for yesterday, even thought you didn’t have to.” He walked closer to him. “What’s wrong?” Yamaguchi was biting his lower lip. “I… I lied to you, Tsukki. And I made you suffer for it.” His posture was rigid, as if he was preparing to be hit.

Kei blinked.

“... When did you lie to me?” he asked, voice a little quiet. He was scared, admittedly. When did Yamaguchi ever lie to him? He saw Yamaguchi take in a deep breath, shoulders shaking. After a few seconds, his voice, that sounded so frail and scared, reach Kei’s ears. “Yesterday. I lied to you yesterday.”

“About... What? The cake?” he joked, trying to lighten up the mood. Yamaguchi still looked as somber as ever. “It’s not the cake, then.” Kei put a hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder. “I won’t hate you for it, Yamaguchi,” he said comfortingly. “I care about you a lot, okay? You don’t have to tell me if it’s that bad." He removed his hand from Yamaguchi’s shoulder and made to start walking again before Yamaguchi opened his mouth and spoke.

“I like you too!”

Kei stopped. His eyes widened as Yamaguchi’s words hit him. He saw Yamaguchi swallow and rub his arm, still looking down. “I heard you. Yesterday. When you… When you told me you liked me, and I said I didn’t hear you… I heard you. But… I was scared. I didn’t want anything to change from our friendship… But I thought it over last night, and I’m sure now. I like you too, Tsukki.” He took in a deep breath. “Will… Will you go out with me?”

Kei felt the air get knocked out of his lungs. Yamaguchi just surprised him several times today.

He shot him a weak smile. “You’re just stealing my thunder today, aren’t you?” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I was planning to confess to you but then you did!” He laughed a little, watching as Yamaguchi’s face fell. “Sorry, Tsukki… I didn’t mean to steal your confession…” he said, frowning slightly.

Kei smiled down fondly at Yamaguchi before pulling him into a hug. “What are you sorry for?” he mumbled. “This is the only time that it’s okay to steal from me.” He felt Yamaguchi ease into the hug, wrapping his arms around Kei’s waist. He felt Yamaguchi rest his head on his shoulder. “Well… I think I might have stolen your heart too. Is that okay for stealing?” Kei felt Yamaguchi’s hand trace small doodles on his back and laughed lowly, pressing his lips to Yamaguchi’s head.

“It’s more than okay,” he replied, moving to kiss his nose. He saw Yamaguchi’s mouth curved into the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. It sent a warm feeling through his chest that spread to his fingertips and the tips of his toes.

“It's perfect.”

 

* * *

 

Inspired by[ this comic](http://ask-tsukki-and-yama.tumblr.com/post/118359699639/t-no-we-i-havent-said-it-yet) by [this blog](http://ask-tsukki-and-yama.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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